WARNING!

I saw a movie recently that was suppose to be an entertaining, enjoyable, whimsical film. It wasn't! If you are pregnant DO NOT go see "UP!". I cried at least three times, not a tear trickling down my face, but tears running down both sides of my face--shirt wet! Now it might be the hormones, but for your personal well being, do not go see the movie if you are pregnant...unless you need a good cry.

Names?

Sam? Mike? Steve? Usually, when a pregnant woman starts throwing out names it's because she is thinking of possible names for her little one. Not me! I want to name my toilet. I've been spending hours a week either on it or in front of it, so instead of saying, "I'm going to go try pooping now" or "I'm going to throw up" I thought, "I'm going to see Sam now" just sounded nicer. So will you help me name my toilet? I would prefer it to be a single syllable name, because I have been going there often.

Out of CONTROL!

Now when you are pregnant, out of control can refer to your emotions, lack of memory, or eating habits. My "out of control" experience has to do with something way more noticeable to EVERYONE around... uncontrollable gas. Last night I was having my first adventure out in quite awhile to Target. I was walking down the aisles and then all of a sudden, a loud flatulence sound came from my backside. Two aisles later, AGAIN! I was running out of aisles I could ditch down without people in them! It became so frequent that I stopped ditching down aisles and just let 'er rip wherever I was--people or no people! I hear you lose most of your inhibitions when you are pregnant--I think I'm entering the inhibition free zone at this point in my pregnancy.

Men in Black in the delivery room?

As I have endured 6 weeks of awfulness I am more and more convinced that all delivery rooms come equipped with men in black. They are the men that have neat little lasers, you look at the light and they zap you and you remember nothing. In the movie, you don't remember your encounter with the aliens. I am certain this happens in the delivery room so moms that have gone through 9, I mean 10 months of the not so enjoyable experiences and hours upon hours (if you are lucky) of labor would be willing to pro-create yet again. I can't wait for my men in black experience...

Speak Up, Mamas, Speak Up!

I am dumbfounded at the lack information previous pregnant women give to women considering the path of motherhood. I never heard how horrible the nausea could be or that you could and would experience severe constipation, in addition to insomnia. Not to mention the things I have yet to encounter...heartburn, hemorrhoids, and leg cramps. I had to go to alternative sources to discover these things and to make sure not pooping for 4 days was "normal" when pregnant. I beg all mamas EVERY WHERE to speak up! Those exploring possible Motherhood need to be educated in the ways of the wise who have been where we are considering traveling...

Who am I?

You would think by age 32 I would have a fairly good idea on who I am. However, in the last few weeks I have completely and totally become a different person. I actually think the little one down there has caused insanity. I sure if I was actually charged for anything illegal I could plead a pretty good insanity case. When does the crazy lady, get replaced with the almost normal one?!?

What they didn't tell me in health class...

In high school health class the teacher spent quite a bit of time discussing sex, birth control and babies. I remember hearing them talk about what happens when a women gets pregnant. Her period stops, she might get "morning sickness", and her body changes. They forgot to mention...vomiting at anytime during the day, nauseousness all day long, constipation, and insomnia--just to name a few. Let's just say I feel like my teacher didn't properly educated me on what really happens when you get pregnant. Did anyone else out there feel undereducated for their pregnancy?